I said I would be honest
So here it goes:
This is one of those days.
Those days I feel seizury,
which doesn’t mean I’ll have a grand mal seizure
but will feel like I can’t figure things out.
I will slur my words and feel blurry
and want to cry and feel like
I don’t belong in this world
and why am I here, really, why???
I am not suicidal, but I hope I don’t
live a long life so how’s that for honesty?
This blog helps me gives me purpose and
meaning and I just hope it helps
someone, even just one person.
Today is a “TV day” where I can’t
do much but watch reality shows and
shows that aren’t too complicated.
I have a caring caregiver here (better
than an uncaring one!) and so that
makes things better. I have a partner
that suffers too, who loves me and
has loved me for years and will love me
for years to come. There are three kitties
too: Reggie, Zoe and Simon, all of who
I adore, so I guess, why complain?
But today, right now, well I wish I
could feel better and think better and
and I know when I bring my attention
to the present moment
Right here, right now
I am ok
this epilepsy, insomnia, anxiety
can bring me to my knees
again and again
so while I’m here
I might as well kiss the earth
and say “thank you”
which breaks my heart open
which teaches me how to love
which is why we are all here.