there are times I feel
like there’s a monster
in me squirming around
living in my belly taking
over my life
it’s evil – that’s what it
feels like
evil.
it also feels like my soul
can’t decide whether to
live or die
that it’s trapped
that it sits in some
kind of purgatory
(not that I believe in
purgatory not that I
am being punished)
today I don’t want to write
about how to lift my spirits
or yours
but how this monster
lives inside me
all day all night
epilepsy for me isn’t
about having seizures
or not having seizures
it’s about something other
than myself ruling my body
something I have no
*#>&%!! control over
something that doesn’t
wish me well
that’s how it feels
stuck being life and death
but then here I am living
on the planet and I gotta
pay bills and eat and bathe
and feed the cats and do errands
and try to act like a normal person
but
I’m not normal
and it’s hard you know
it’s hard
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=seizure+mama+and+rose&i=stripbooks&crid=Y0B45E8IZZTJ&sprefix=seizure+mama+%2Cstripbooks%2C207&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_1_13
Great – got it!